Death Defying Dinners

Some of the UK’s Best Eating Challenges

Many people will be familiar with Adam Richmans fanatical food show Man Vs Food but would you be surprised to hear that the types of challenges Mr Richman is famous for attempting are available not just in good ol’ USA but also little old place we call the UK. For those of us (myself included) who generally find our eyes are bigger than our stomachs, these challenges are not for you. To the rest of you who have the guts for glory, take note, we’ve just found your next road trip.

The Kismot Killer
Kismot Killer Challenge: this is claimed to be the hottest Curry in Scotland! On their website they claim it may be one of the WORLDS hottest. Probably using the Guiness Book of World Records as ingredients catalogue the people at Kismot have sourced the most bad ass chillies on the face of the planet to produce an even hotter and spicier curry to challenge even the bravest taste buds. If you can finish it all, it’s FREE but expect to sign a disclaimer before attempting to taste this inferno! Try this and you can also feel a sense of pride in the fact that your foolishness means 25% of the cost of the dish is donated to charity.
According to the proprietors “the combination (of chilis) we use and how the dish is cooked is mind blowing, super hot and will challenge even those with asbestos mouths.”
The Kismot Killer is so notorious it has been featured on “A League of Their Own”, “Have I got News for You” and through various media sources normally in conjunction with a photograph of a scene straight out of and A-Z of the apocalypse.

Kismot Restaurant, 29 St Leonards Street, Edinburgh, EH8 9QN – 0131 6670123 Visit Website.


Release The Kraken
Being the most important meal of the day no one would ever want to skip out on breakfast however, going out to the Skipper for breakfast is a totally different matter. The Skipper Café in Whitby is home to the mighty beast that is The Kraken. What’s Included:
16 Bacon, 16 Sausages, 16 Hash Browns, 6 Fried Eggs, 6 Scrambled Eggs, 6 Black Pudding, 6 Portions of Tomatoes, 6 Portions of Beans, 6 Portions of Mushrooms, 6 Toast, 6 Fried Bread, 6 Bread ‘n’ Butter and last but not least 2 Sides of Chips. This claims to be the world’s biggest breakfast and I have to say I’m pretty darn convinced. Weighing at over 64kg this is not for the faint hearted. Home previously to the beast that was the Trawlerman, Skippers Café named this monstrosity after the famous sea creature that was so enormous it had the ability to rip ships apart with its tentacles.
If you manage to keep your head above water the intrepid adventurer who conquers the Kraken will receive their meal free of charge along with £50 Cash. They will also receive a Free T-shirt and certificate in recognition of your achievement. After feeding your stomach you can also feed you pride by having your photo placed on the Café wall.
Skippers Café, Haggersgate, Whitby, North Yorkshire, YO21 3PP- 01947 606 696 Visit Website.

What the Truck?
When I read the contents of this challenge I took a sharp intake of breath and then muttered some unrepeatable phrases, in my opinion the Truckstop Challenge should be renamed the Motherlode. A combo plate that should be shared between 6 and 10 people has become a one man meal mountain. To this day no one has successfully overcome its lofty peaks. This super-sized combo is delivered to your table in what looks like a small bath tub and if you want to know what it was about this challenge that caused me to spout a few well chosen naughty words here’s the full run down of its contents: 2 x classic burgers, 2 x cheese burgers, 2 x classic hot dogs, 2 x cheesy dogs, 12 x onion rings, 2 x sides of fries, 1st gear nachos, 2 x sides of house coleslaw, 12 x hot ‘n’ spicy chicken wings, 10 x pancakes with maple syrup and 2 x dressed house salads. Ouch.
Jubilee Garage, 30 North Street, Bourne, Lincolnshire, PE10 9AB – 01778 392700 Visit Website.


Bad Dog
The Red Dog Saloon in London is home to a gigantic burger called the Devastator and although it is a gigantic gut busting 3000 calories it’s not nearly as terrifying as its edible evil twin the Red Dog Hot Wings Challenge. Not to be underestimated this challenge, a mere 6 wings is nothing to scoff at. What makes this a challenge at all? Three words: Naga. Viper. Chillies. These capsicums of cataclysm at one point held the record for the world’s hottest chillies. On the Scoville scale of spiciness of the sauce for the wings measures 1.38million – just below weapons grade pepper spray.
Willing victims challengers have 10 minutes to eat the wings followed by a five minute “burn-off” period during which time they cannot have any other food or drink to help them ease the blazing inferno that is tearing their mouth and internal organs.
There is about a 5% completion rate for this challenge, but no-one knows what happens to those who complete it and whether they can taste food ever again.
A victory will secure the red faced hero a Red Dog Saloon t-shirt and photo on the legendary “Wall of Flame”.
Red Dog Saloon, 20 Berwick Street, London, W1F 0PY – 0203 457 6930 Visit Website.


The End of the World
Not many eateries have to commission a specially made bun from a bakery using special flour to ensure it can stay whole under the strain of its own weight, but at Burgers at Blacks it takes a special kind of bun to hold ‘The Beast’. Weighing in at a whopping 15 pounds and containing almost 7lb of beef, nine rashers of bacon and nine slices of cheese accompanied by 1lb of chips on the side, it’s such a monster that those who are ready to take on the challenge are asked to give the restaurant 24 hours’ notice, as the chefs need time to craft the massive meatwich. Here’s the calorific countdown:

(30cm) diameter bun – 6016 calories, 6lbs (10oz) beef burger – 8771.7 calories
1lb chips – 1204 calories, Whole Lettuce – 150 calories
3 tomatoes – 66 calories, 9 slices mature cheddar cheese – 912 calories
9 rashers of bacon – 576 calories, Mayo, tomato relish & dill pickles – 25 calories
Total: 17,720 calories My stomach hurts just thinking about it.
Blacks Burgers 59-61 Brighton Rd, Horley RH6 7HJ – 01293 775060 Visit Website.


We Are the Champions
Until recently the word BBQ would strike fear into the heart of any UK born person, the memory of eating black on the outside pink on the inside sausages while sitting in the rain was a reality for most of us growing up. Thanks to restaurants like Grillstock that fear eroded away and we were able to really enjoy BBQ as it was intended…until the Grand Champion that is. Boasting pulled pork, brisket, full rack of ribs, half a BBQ chicken plus burnt ends, mac ‘n’ cheese, hot-dog, BBQ beans, brisket chilli and cornbread. Originally a poor man’s food this little dish will set you back £40 but should you complete it unaided in under an hour you receive a bottle of BBQ sauce and a much coveted T-Shirt to prove you really do have the stuff of champions. Even if you fail it’s worth a visit to Grillstock with its emphasis on chilled fun with friend’s hillbilly chic. It’s tasty slice of the US of A without the hassle of leaving Blighty.
Grillstock, various locations Visit Website.

If you do plan to hit up any of these venues on a Man Vs Food style road trip please remember to book an extra week of work to recover and hit the gym (a lot) and bear in mind, we did warn you.

Stephanie Hall

Stephanie Hall

Steph is a frustrated writer trapped in the body of an idle procrastinator. When she's not at work she likes planning for the apocalypse and has a secret penchant for tinned meats.

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