Custard tart catastrophe…

In every one of my Bake Off run-downs, I’ve talked about Frances and her magically moulded bakes, and this week will be no exception. Once again, she came under fire for focussing too much on appearances and not enough on flavour. She can clearly bake very, very well indeed – and following Paul Hollywood’s custard tart recipe came more naturally to her than it did for, well, everyone else – but why can’t she just make something normal and really tasty?

I looked to her website for a deeper insight into the mind of Ms Quinn, and while things like the fish and chip cakes are undeniably cute, I’m dubious about some of her flavour combinations. Lemon drizzle cake filled with strawberry jam? I would try it, but, in my view, you really can’t beat the classic version.

It was when I clicked onto the ‘About Me’ page that I really began to doubt Frances – I fear she lost her grounding in regular baking long ago. She describes her key ingredients as a ‘dollop of randomness’, a ‘teaspoon of wonder’, a ‘pinch of eccentricity’, a ‘drop of serendipity’, a ‘handful of curiosity’ and a ‘fluid ounce of fun’. Not sure these have ever featured in any of Paul or Mary’s recipes.

Anyway, back to the competition. Kimberley thoroughly deserved star baker – she’s been consistently good throughout the competition so far. It was a shame Ali got kicked out; I reckon that was only because Beca clawed it back with the custard tarts. That meant my prediction last week was wrong, but my forecast for next week is a stone-cold solid one: we will once again see that shot of Ruby sat on her floor reading textbooks. We get it – she’s a student! Someone buy that girl a desk…

Dominic Stroud

Dom is an ex-Fed Up & Drunker who has now been released into the wild.

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